This Isn’t Disrespect: What’s Actually Happening When Your Teen Pushes Back
Introduction I almost lost it on my 12-year-old at a campground. He was messing with a water spigot, and I told him to stop. He looked at me and said,“Why?” And immediately, my brain went there. He’s pushing my buttons.He’s trying to upset me. That one word didn’t...
Why Teens Argue About Chores (And What They’re Really Asking For)
“Why Do I Always Have to Do It?” I have four boys, and one of the shared responsibilities in our house is taking out the trash. Most of them do it without much fuss. But my 13-year-old? He almost always has something to say. If I ask him to take out the trash, I’m...
How to Respond When Your Teen Brings a Problem With Attitude
When the Problem Arrives… With Attitude The other day one of my boys, Hayden, came storming into the room yelling about ants. Apparently the light fixture above his bed hadn’t been working right. When he and his brother started looking at it, the fixture came down....
If You Want Your Teen to Talk to You Later, Listen to Them Now
Introduction: The Day I Chose to Listen We were on a family hike to a waterfall when my son stepped up beside me and asked,“What do you know about H. P. Lovecraft?” My first thought was simple:I don’t know anything about him. And once my son started explaining, I...
Removing the phone doesn’t build the skill
Introduction Not long ago, I was talking with my brother. He mentioned that our governor had just signed a bell-to-bell cell phone ban for schools. Phones collected when kids walk in. Returned when they leave. And before you decide where you stand on that policy, I...
“That’s Not You Bro”: How to Use Identity (Not Shame) to Shift Your Teen’s Behavior
Introduction My son raised a fist.His brother stopped him with four words: “That’s not you Bro.” We were driving, and one brother kept poking at the other. You know how it goes. The tension builds, the patience drops, and suddenly the annoyed one winds up a punch. But...
Stop Reading Attitude into Every Text: Using DISC to Lead Chats with Calm
Introduction The message came in just after 8 a.m. “Pray for mom. She was admitted to hospital last night and had blood transfusion this morning.” My stomach dropped. Someone asked the question we were all thinking: “Any idea what’s going on?” Thirty long minutes...
It Didn’t Come Out of Nowhere: How to Read the Warning Lights in Your Teen’s Behavior
Introduction: It Didn’t Come Out of Nowhere The red and blue lights hit my rearview mirror before I even knew anything was wrong. My stomach dropped. You know that instant rush, where your brain starts racing through the last five miles and you think,What did I do?...
This Holiday, What Experience Do You Really Want With Your Teen?
What If This Holiday Felt Different? You don’t control your teen. But you do control the experience you want to have. You know that tiny knot you feel in your stomach as the holidays get close? Part of you wants cozy nights, laughing in the car, maybe one good picture...
Your Teen Isn’t Disrespectful — They Just Hear Respect in a Different Language
Introduction: The Day My GPS Taught Me About Respect A couple weeks ago, we were driving through northern Alabama.New roads. New towns. My GPS was getting a workout. I’m following the voice on my phone, and it says, “Continue on Bethel Church Road.”But when I get to...